This is a question that every civilization has pondered since the beginning of time. The answer to what lies beyond death, is that there isn’t a conclusive answer. No one knows for sure. Even those cases of people dying, then returning, and reveling what they experienced, could be subjective.
The real reason I’m writing this, is from a dinner conversation I had with my good friend. We have known each other quite a while, and know each other’s family history. The questions we were exploring, were the unexplained happenings we both have encountered, after a friend or relative has died. Happenings that were real at the time, but hard to believe, or explain in a rational way. Maybe there was a connection to that other world. Or was it just coincidence? As Shakespeare wrote, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” Yes, we both agreed that there was a higher force, behind our events.
My friends husband suffered a stroke that left him paralyzed. Over the years he declined, both physically and mentally. When he finally died, she remembered that exact time, hour, minutes, seconds. That was her connection. Every year on the anniversary of his death, she would attend church to sit quietly and reflect. Then it was off to a local restaurant, and at the exact time, would toast with a Bloody Mary. Before the husband died, his only regret was that he wanted to see his granddaughter graduate from college. A year after he died the granddaughter graduated. When she accepted the diploma on the stage, all the family members photographed the event. It was not until they viewed the photographs later on, that they noticed a clock in the photograph. The time frozen for eternity was the exact time her husband died. I would say it was more than a coincidence.
My father was very matter-of-fact about life and death. He said we are born, live for a time, and then we die. When he was ninety-seven, he suffered a heart attack. He was living on the east coast, and I was living on the west coast. When I heard the news, I immediately called the hospital, and was allowed to speak with him, even though he was in the ICU. Naturally, I was upbeat, saying that with proper treatment and medication, he would recover. His answer was no. He lived a long and happy life, but it was time to go. I asked him, how do know that? All he could answer was, you have this feeling that it’s time. Next day he suffered another heart attack, and died.
When my mother reached her early nineties, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Her wonderful art career was cut short. It took several years, slowly wasting away before she died. She was cremated, and I flew in to attend the family’s private memorial. I took some of her ashes back to California with me. My plan was to scatter them in the Pacific. I drove to my favorite beach in Malibu, where every week I would beach dive into the kelp forests. As I was about to scatter her ashes, I experienced a sudden chill from the box containing her ashes. Once they were in the ocean, the chill was gone. Was it real? I think so. When I was asked, where is your mother buried, my answer was, somewhere between Malibu and Cabo.
One morning my partner Kim was a completely different person. She didn’t recognize, or respond to me. She was hostile to the emergency EMS, and Firemen, as they took her to the hospital. There, she was heavily medicated for severe pneumonia. Only once during her emergency treatment did she regain normality, and said, Gene I’m dying. The next day I was with her in the ICU, talking to her, holding her hand, even though she couldn’t respond. Then I witnessed two cardiac arrests, but she wasn’t strong enough to survive. That next week I had her cremated. When I was filing away the death certificate, and the funeral home papers, I saw that she died in the 14th of the month, and was cremated on the 19th. It struck me. We met on the 14th in Los Angeles at an industry function, and our first date was on the 19th, a screening at the television academy, and dinner. A farewell on those memorable dates? Could be.
I don’t think I could truly say, or believe, that these happenings were just coincidences.
